Sometime in late 2018 I started noticing a new fad among my friends – almost everyone was wearing a smart watch or a fitness tracker. Sometimes right in the middle of a conversation one friend would randomly say “oh yayy! I completed my goal of ten thousand steps today”, to which another guy would say – “oh I haven’t moved much, I still have four thousand steps to go!”. I used to find that odd but also intriguing. I was initially reluctant to get a fitness watch for myself – as a wristwatch enthusiast I was not keen on wearing the same watch all the time when you can instead wear a different one every day. But I eventually realized how much of a lazy bum I am and how less of physical activity I am getting every day. A famous saying goes – “if you can’t measure it, then you can’t improve it”. I finally gave in to that wisdom, and decided to get myself a fitness tracker. I went online, did my research and got myself one of those little bad boys that’s got all the fancy cool features. Once I started using it I fell in love with it, and was using it every day – there was so much info I’m getting about myself all the time – how much I moved, how fast my heart beats, how much sleep I’m getting, and the best of all – how much stressed I am! Yes, a device that can actually sense your stress and show it to you as a number. Whenever you’re stressed and you look at it, you are passively reminded to calm down, and as you calm down it shows in numbers that you’re getting better – isn’t that amazing? Something that maybe all of us need at this point.

A few months later I was at my cousin’s place one day, playing with my little niece – a bubbly six year old girl, full of energy, who loves to play all the time. Her attention went to my fitness watch and she asked me what it was. I started showing it to her by letting her swipe the screen and describing every option. She went – “steps”, swipe, “heartbeat”, swipe, “sleep time”, swipe. Then she had trouble figuring out what the next screen says. I said, “spell it out”. She said “S-T-R-E-S-S” – “stress”! And I said, “yes, stress!” . And she said “maama..” (maama means uncle), with a puzzled look and an innocent voice she asked – “maama, what does stress mean?”

*Sigh*

Oh dear lord! Hearing that I went bonkers– inside my head I just had an explosion of thoughts. Oh, girl please, don’t even get me started on what stress is. My life right now is full of stress, life as an adult is full of stress, for everyone, and all the time. We all have so much crap to deal with on a daily basis that you get stressed out even without realizing it. It has become an inseparable part of our lives, yet it’s a concept so complicated that it’s impossible for your simple brain to grasp it. What do you know, you’re just a naive little kid who plays all day and doesn’t need to care about what goes around? You have no idea how much stress is going to overwhelm you when you grow up! Wow! This kid does not know what stress means!…

Wait a minute… (as the realization sunk in for me; now with a slight sense of appreciation)

…this kid… does NOT know… what STRESS means…

*I* used to be that kid before. We all used to be that kid before. What happened to us later?

We once had carefree lives as a child where we didn’t have to worry about anything – we used to have a higher happiness quotient overall, and even the occasional sadness was often trivial and short lived. But now, as grown-ups, being stressed out has become the norm. What causes stress? The most common of all is work related stress – whether it’s being unhappy with the work, or dealing with bad management or the fear of losing a job. According to a survey the CDC reports that about 40% of the workers in the US have described their jobs as highly stressful. Apart from work, stress can be triggered due to life events – like loss of a loved one, getting divorced, chronic illness, traumatic events and many more. Most of these are basically attributed to fear, uncertainty, unrealistic expectations or unexpected changes. And as we grow up, we realize that life is rife with such triggers everywhere, to the point that we get sucked into the quicksand of a stressful life willingly or unwillingly. Some stress sure is inevitable and maybe also positive at times, but what’s unfortunate is there is also a growing ‘stress culture’ that not just normalizes stress but also somewhat celebrates it – a culture that wrongly infers that if you are not stressed enough then you are not working hard enough or not ambitious enough in life; a culture that thus makes people wear their stress levels as a badge of honor – something, at times, even I am guilty of. How did we grow up to arrive at this point in life? When did we go from one extreme of being carefree to another extreme of being chronically stressed and worried, without ever being able to find a healthy point of balance? What is the point of all the knowledge we’ve accumulated over the years if we are ignorant about how toxic a certain mindset is to our own lives? Is that what we are going to tell kids that look up to us – that here is something that ruins your life but better get used to it because it’s socially accepted?

And as I stood blank-faced lost in all these thoughts, my niece once again asked me with an innocent look– “maama, what does stress mean?”. I smiled at her, ruffled her hair and said –

“I wish that you’d never find out.”

🙂